Have you ever stayed in a hostel?? My first time was this past February in Amsterdam. All was going well until about half way through my backpacking trip throughout Europe. My “horror” wasn’t even as bad as some of my fellow travelers. Promise to feel sorry and then laugh out loud at their mishaps.
In Vietnam, I drank the water like a dummy and shit all over my hostel bed. It smelt so bad that when the boys came in (I was the only girl) they started cracking up and I couldn’t even bare to go back in the room. I had zero control over my bowels and had stuff coming out of both ends for two days. WHAT A SHIT SHOW.
At a hostel in Germany, there were two people having sex for however long, in a bed IN MY ROOM. It was dead silent and then I hear the girl go, “Are you done yet?!” I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that they were fucking or that the girl got bored with it.
I was staying at a hostel in Japan where the walls were like paper dividers. The hostel owner would basically just watch us. LIKE CREEPILY WATCH US. My friends and I were so weirded out that we dipped out after the first night.
I stayed in this hostel in Thailand on a party island. We completely forgot what day it was. I was out drinking until dawn and not even two hours after being back from drinking all night, an asian lady who worked there came yelling, screaming and banging on all the doors trying to kick everyone out!
My friend and I got dropped off at the Cambodian border right before close, and took a sketch ass cab 2 hours into Angkor only to find out that our planned hostel was booked and so were ALL THE OTHER HOSTELS! We ended up wandering the streets super late searching and begging any hotel or hostel to give us a room.
Ended up at a hostel in Ibiza, no recollection of how I even got to Ibiza. Woke up with $5 and plastic bags wrapped around my legs.
At a hostel in Bangkok, I was sleeping on a bottom bunk in a 15 mixed door room. As I am fast asleep, pleasantly dreaming of hiking up a Mount Everest, I get abruptly woken up by a beautiful waterfall. Except it wasn’t a waterfall at all!! I was getting pissed on by my drunk top bunk mate. Needless to say, that golden shower was the end of my stay at that hostel. DISGUSTING. I had nightmare’s for weeks after.
At a hostel in Rio, someone ended up pulling the fire alarm to get 5 drunk dudes to stop having fire extinguisher fights upstairs. Some old women in a silk Moo-Moo comes out with nipple tassels on, thinking her apartment which was right next door was on fire. TRIP. MADE.
We arrive in Barcelona. The airport ends up losing my luggage. Get to the hostel and had only the clothes that I wore on the plane. End up drinking with some girls at the hostel from Rotterdam, and start playing card games but with wine. Got drunk in about 15 minutes. The girls decide that not only do they wanna go to the club but want to dress us for the club as well. All of us drunkasses end up going to Zara, buy a couple things, come back and the girls dress us as we continue to drink more wine. Finally leave for the club and the girls pull out some whip-it canisters. We all start doing whip-its in the club, drunk as shit and start dancing on the floor. We get so drunk to the point of running out of the club and into the ocean to go skinny dipping, while again doing more whip-its. Finally got back to the hostel and ended up getting kicked out for being too loud.
Had a long night of drinking in Sydney, and came back to the hostel drunk as fuck. I guess the spicy food I ate wasn’t sitting well and decided to go let it loose on the toilet. Then I get a sudden urge while I’m shitting to throw up at the same time. I grab the tiny trashcan beside me and shit starts coming out of both ends. I forgot to lock the door and I was on a floor of shared bathrooms. Some girl opens the door on accident, see’s what’s happening and gets so sick from the smell that she projectile vomits on me, which in turn made me vomit even more.
Got to a hostel in Brussels only to discover I am rooming with my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend of 2 years who she cheated on me with. Didn’t even know until I was woken up by her moaning his name and recognized her voice.
On an overnight bus from Jammu to Delhi, I had a sudden urge to relieve myself. NUMBER TWO. I tried to flag the bus driver to pull over but he wouldn’t budge. My only option ended up being to squat near the back of the bus into a plastic bag. Somehow I missed and got it all over my pants and socks, as my colleague cringed in the corner. Without a second thought, I threw the soiled pants out of the bus. Only until my friend asked 3 hours later did I realize my dignity and passport was somewhere between Jammu and Delhi. I go to the consulate and obtain a new passport however my Indian Visa could not be recovered. We finally get the hostel, literally shitting our pants wondering how we will see another Indian day, when my friend blurts out that he somehow remembered he had a picture of my visa on his camera! Not so much a hostel horror but definitely a shitty situation.
Decided to throw a small party in our hostel dorm. That small party turned into 100 people. This happened because my dorm mate went to the club, announced that we were having a party, and over 75 people followed him back to the dorm. The manager’s couldn’t even say anything because there were so many people. Next day, hit with a $1000 fine and had our stuff thrown out. Totally worth it.
Was taking a shower in a hostel. These things were lined up, military style. Casually washing my hair, and some guy comes in, turns on the shower and immediately starts peeing. It somehow ran over to my side and for the rest of my stay, I couldn’t get clean enough.
Walked in on a girl plucking her pubic hair with tweezers in front of the mirror. In our female dorm room and she didn’t even flinch. I quickly changed rooms and never looked back.
What can we learn from these experiences??
At $8-25 a night, do you really expect anything less?? Don’t get caught with your pants down, and if none of this sounds fun to you then get a private room or a damn AIRBNB! Hope you enjoyed these stories as much as I did and stay tuned for the next episode of Sunday Confessional Presents.
xo Bonvoyage Bitches