Bloody hell is right! Nothing worse than planning an entire vacation only to find out that Mother Nature has other plans. Like sucker punching your ovaries and making you worry 34/7 that your period is seeping through every inch of clothing.
Don’t be ashamed bitches, we’ve all been there. Running to the bathroom 8 times a day making sure that’s only sweat and not the red sea of doom dripping down your leg. It’s one thing to be in the comfort of your own home dealing with it but damn if it doesn’t suck ass when it arrives on vacay.
The inevitable is near, and instead of being creeped out by it, or embarrassed, I want you to be PREPARED.
Here is how to deal with your period while traveling!
PLAN YOUR TRIP AROUND IT
Instead of ever being put in this position, the logical idea would be to plan around your period. Any romantic anniversary or celebration can be ruined by a murder in your underwear.
If you just can’t switch the dates, the next best thing is being prepared. That’s what I’m here for right?
Take into consideration the time of year…in spring, summer you are more likely to be drawn to light and bright colors. If you pick out a pastel wardrobe, make sure you are leak proof!
You can even opt for a long maxi dress, or blue jeans with a cute floral top if you are still feeling self-conscious. Making sure your clothes are cute, but comfortable will help your overall mood. This is not the time to be wearing a skin-tight BodyCon dress unless you miraculously don’t bloat!
Will you be on your period the whole time or just catching the end of it? Know your body, and flow (mine is heavy AF). I always bring a shit ton of tampons because mine likes to have multiple personalities. If your period is fairly light and only lasts for a few days, pack accordingly. No need to bring all the things if you don’t have to.
Make a list of the products you’ll need and put them in a cute pouch. I say this because it’s nice to have everything in one place to be able to just grab and go. You don’t want TSA to go digging through your bag and have tampons flying everywhere.
MY LIST INCLUDES:
- Midol Complete
- Panty Liners
- Summers Eve wipes
- Some Dove Chocolate
- Diva Cup
- Extra pair of underwear
Oh yes, the chocolate is veryyyy necessary for an emotionally unstable bitch on the rag.
I’m no doctor and trust me, I know how hard it can be to even get out of bed sometimes but staying active has always helped me in the past.
Don’t let it completely consume you. Take a walking tour around the city, or rent a bike. Go swimming in a lagoon or even just take the damn stairs. Staying active will give you less time to bitch, moan and complain about how your body is having a sword fight in your ovaries.
I know a lot of bitches love doing yoga while on vacation. It’s the perfect mix of meditation, relaxation, pain relief and fitness! I’m not one of those people BUT there are some great tricks and poses that will help with the period pain. Do a quick search on Pinterest for these!
Again, no doctor but your super bloated thirsty ass could use a liter or two. It’s so important to stay hydrated while Mother Nature is making you die a slow, painful death.
All those PMS symptoms can become exacerbated if you aren’t giving your body what it needs. I always get the worst migraine and light sensitivity when I’m dehydrated, so on my period, it’s elevated x1000.
DON’T OVER INDULGE
You’re in a new country or city, trust me, the urge to completely drown yourself in alcohol or food WILL indeed come up. I’m not saying don’t go for it but watch the things you eat. Extra greasy foods will only make you feel worse. Try having a bright green salad with fish or some fruits and veggies. Those french fries might smell like heaven on earth but hell will be overflowing inside of you.
TREAT YO SELF
That’s right girlfriend, you fucking earned it. A relaxing massage, or even full-blown spa day. Everyone has time to slow down and unwind from their busy day to day lives. Traveling is all about doing whatever the fuck you wanna do. Why not experience a state of the art Salt Room or highly talked about sauna?
Shit, even nature can be your treat. Hot springs and geothermal baths are all around the world.
You don’t even have to leave the hotel room though. Cozy up in a bathrobe, order some room service and bask in your relaxed AF day. Treat yo self to some self-love and care. Your burning back will thank me later.
STOP WORRYING SO DAMN MUCH
Don’t you dare be sorry for a little blood on the hotel sheets, or if a little came through your bathing suit. IT IS WHAT IT IS. It hasn’t been the first time anyone has seen blood, nor will it be their last. We’re only human (amazing fucking humans I might add) and shit happens. Get over it.
GET SOME D
It’s exactly what it sounds like. Did you know that most women are hornier on their periods? I sure as hell am. As long as you have a partner who doesn’t mind a little Halloween party in the bedroom, do yourself a favor and fuck it out. It will release some much needed pent up aggression or moods you’ve been having!
The other type of D is Vitamin D! I always find that laying in the sun, sweating it out does wonders for the body. Not to mention getting a sunkissed
flow glow on your skin! Spend a day at the beach instead of doing rigorous activities!
USE NATURAL REMEDIES
I can’t say that every single time my cycle tends to kick me down that I opt for medicine. Sure Xanax is fun, but have you ever tried shit that won’t kill you?? I continually use a few that help me get through these dark dark times…
CBD OIL: Yup, it’s all the craze right now, but for good reason! I’ve adopted the CBD lifestyle because…
1) it doesn’t make me high like THC (I seriously turn into Helen Keller when I’m high)
2) It’s natural and it works, especially if you use the topical kind!
Dragon Time essential oil (or any concoction of Essential oils): how fucking perfect is this name?? It’s like slaying dragons down there, so yes this oil is a lifesaver! Pour about 10-12 drops in your hands and rub it all over your crampy areas. It’s almost an instant relief!
With both of these products, they are easily transported so you can take them along on any journey! I recommend using the CBD Oil in the morning, Dragon Time when the going gets tough, and if none of that helps Mount Crampmore, then pop a few Midol complete….and please try not to burn down any city.
WAYS TO SUBSIDE YOUR PERIOD
- Pills, injections, IUD. Yup, just cancel that shit altogether and you probably won’t be worrying about your time of the month for a while.
- Yeahhhh it’s kind of freakin weird. A diva cup is a menstrual cup that you insert to catch your flow? Honestly, I’ve never used one because my flow is heavy AF like I said before. All I imagine is it spilling everywhere like a hot cup of coffee. GROSS. The plus side is that it’s reusable! You never have to worry about you running out in a foreign country. I will say that in some places, these sanitary napkins and shit aren’t that readily available. The menstrual cup is the perfect solution to that!
- Again, I have personally never tried these but have heard really great things about a few different brands! Just do your research and try some out! It wouldn’t hurt more than it already does right??
So cranky bitches, hopefully, I have lightened your load (I can’t stop with the period puns) and informed you on a few ways to deal with your period while traveling! I even put together an Amazon Favorites page for all of your red rag needs because let’s face it…were highly impatient human beings on our period. Ain’t nobody got time for 3-5 day shipping! Check it out and see what you’re missing!
I’d also love to know what I’m missing in this post so leave me some other suggestions in the comments so we can conquer Mother Nature together! Until next time…
xo Bonvoyage Bloody Bitches